Writing with Clarity
Poor:The dog was walked by a man who was tall.
Better: The tall man walked the dog.
Reducing Clutter
Poor: Because of the late hour of the day, everyone was asleep.
Better: It was late so everyone was asleep.
Sentence Variety
Poor: I walked to the store. I bought milk. I drank the milk.
Better: I went to the store to buy milk and drank it when I got home.
Sentence Emphasis
Poor: Jordan the Soonerthon chair said that Soonerthon would try and fundraise 100 thousand dollars on Jan. 25.
Better: Soonerthon will try and fundraise 100 thousand dollars on Jan. 25 said the Soonerthon chair.
Poor:The dog was walked by a man who was tall.
Better: The tall man walked the dog.
Reducing Clutter
Poor: Because of the late hour of the day, everyone was asleep.
Better: It was late so everyone was asleep.
Sentence Variety
Poor: I walked to the store. I bought milk. I drank the milk.
Better: I went to the store to buy milk and drank it when I got home.
Sentence Emphasis
Poor: Jordan the Soonerthon chair said that Soonerthon would try and fundraise 100 thousand dollars on Jan. 25.
Better: Soonerthon will try and fundraise 100 thousand dollars on Jan. 25 said the Soonerthon chair.
