Calm my anxious heart

There are a lot of things that I could choose to base my blog on but my relationship is something that has deeply impacted my life and I feel that sharing my heart about this subject may help someone else going through the same things.

So first off, I have been with my boyfriend, Nick, for eight months now.  No that is not that long to some but to me it is forever.  Not in a bad way, but before dating Nick, I was quite often single or in short term relationships.

Nick is from the small town of Wilburton, OK, which is where all of my moms side of the family is from.  If anyone would have told me I would be dating someone from “wilberville” as many of my family members call it, I would have laughed and said absolutely not but things like these are what make me believe that God has a great sense of humor.

I met Nick in August of 2015 and fell in love with his quiet personality, country boy charm and most of all his love for the lord.  It didn’t take us long to realize that we wanted to be together and I don’t think anyone could have ever seen me smile as much as I did those first couple of months. Don’t get me wrong, of course he makes me smile now, but what a lot of people don’t think about is how hard relationships can be at times.

Dating someone takes a lot of work.  You get to know the person in a state of perfection at first.  We all want to put our best foot forward when we are in our “flirtationship” stage of a relationship, but when you’ve been dating for a few months, things start to get comfortable.  Comfortability is not bad in many ways, but sometimes we have to become aware of comfortability in a relationship when thinking about making our other half happy.

Miscommunication happens, disagreements happen, we make each other mad, we do things that the other hates, and sometimes we even like making them mad, but the most important thing through all of it is remembering to remind the other how much they are loved.

Even through our fights and disagreements, through the attitudes and angry faces, I absolutely love my boyfriend to death. He understands who I am and why I am the way that I am. He knows how to make me laugh, he encourages me to push my relationship further with the lord and he loves me when I don’t deserve it.

Because I love him so much, and I’m a girl, it is inevitable that I am going to thing about our future together.  My wedding is one of those things that I have had a bit of an obsession about since I was a little girl and now that I have sooo many friends that are getting engaged, I am getting what is known as “wedding fever” like really bad.  Although Nick and I have only been together for eight months, there isn’t a single person that I think I would want to spend the rest of my life with which makes me think why wait? If we love each other, why wait?

What I am learning through my experience with “wedding fever” is that it is not just my timing.  Nick is great about planning out his future or what he wants.  Now short term plans, not so much and that is a work in progress, but he is very driven and knows that he want’s to be financially and emotionally stable before making that move.

Although I have questioned this and although it doesn’t fit my timeline, I have to understand that I have a man in my life that loves me and is committed to me.  WE HAVE THE REST OF OUR LIVES TO BE MARRIED. This is what keeps popping into my head every time I look down at my finger and want a ring to be there.  The race for marriage is many times what leads to divorce in a relationship.  The D word is not something that Nick or I want, ever, so it is so very important to us that we know that we know it is the right time, it is God’s time.

God’s timing is perfect.  His plans are perfect. Our plans are according to our wants and most of the time do not fall in line with what the Lord wants for us.  Finding a Godly man is hard and being content in singleness, for lack of a better word, is definitely hard, but making sure that it is God’s timing and that you both are on the same page and ready for that step is so vital to a successful marriage.

No, I haven’t been married, and no I won’t be getting engaged any time soon.  Though I find my heart getting anxious about this often, I force myself to remember that I want to be within God’s timing and I want my boyfriend to be ready and not feel forced. So, be happy in your situation, wherever you may be. Remember to give it to God, to love your other half, and know that God’s plan is perfect.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

Philippians  4:6